07 July 2009

"Seriously?" or "The Freeway IS NOT Your Personal Potty"

I was driving down the freeway towards the beach. There's this part where it ends and becomes a major boulevard. As I near this section, to my left is the emergency shoulder, which is roughly 2 cars wide. I see this white SUV pulled over to the side of the road. There's this girl who appears to be in her 20's, wearing one of those little sundresses one would throw on over a bathing suit, running around the car like she's really upset. At this point, I'm thinking she has a flat tire or something. I actually thought about pulling over and calling AAA for her because she looked positively frantic.

Bear in mind there's a LOT of traffic so I'm inching along next the vehicle. I can see her peering in through windows in a panic. Now I'm thinking she locked her kid in the car or something. I drive a few feet forward and as I do this, I can see through my driver's side mirror that the front passenger door has opened. I am relieved to know that there's someone w/ her and that she isn't locked out.

That's when I see it...still through my sideview mirror...

This chick gets in front of door, I'm assuming to block the view of traffic passing the SUV. However, anyone driving past and looking back can SEE HER. She gets in front of the door, LIFTS her skirt, pulls her little yellow bikini bottoms down and SQUATS DOWN to PEE ON THE SIDE OF THE FREEWAY. Ladies and gentlemen, she's doing this IN FRONT OF RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC!!!!

The best part? Right in mid-flow, as it were, a CHiPpie pulls up on his motorcycle behind the SUV, lights flashing. You can actually see the officer doing the 'WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?' motions as the girl is rapidly trying to pull her bottoms up. Her male companion is making signs like he's trying to explain himself.

Now, I don't know what happened after this because traffic began moving again. One thing's for sure. I bet that girl never does that again. Seriously, I don't care how bad you have to go, you just don't do that sort of thing where EVERYONE, LITERALLY under the sun can see you. Good gawd, I don't know what gets into some people!